I have been struggling with many of the roles of motherhood lately that I wish came easy for me. A few of them being: laundry, making meals, keeping house clean, etc. Keeping a house clean, has never been something easy for me. I LOVE having a clean house, but knowing how to get there is frustrating for me. I actually can get pretty grouchy sometimes when my house isn't in order - and unfortunately it is in disarray most of the time.
After attending BYU Education week and hearing Daryl Hoole speak I went to the library looking for anything she had written. There was a book that was new that I put on hold. When the book finally came in I picked it up and can definitely say that my thoughts of being a mother have changed drastically from reading her book. Now I need to buy it so I can mark each quote or part that stands out to me.
MEALS: One area that really stood out to me was the importance of having dinner together each night. We do have dinner, but sometimes I am not so good at preparing ahead what we will be eating. She talks about how "children - husbands, too! - are about as happy as they are well fed. It is therefore certainly worth it to keep the kitchen stocked, the refrigerator full, and good meals served." By reading her book I have realized just how important it is to have a good meal prepared each day for my family to sit down together and talk. I have gotten discouraged in the past with some of my children who seem to complain about everything I make. I have decided that I simply don't care and will prepare a meal every day and make sure it is done when Byron gets home from work. We end up spending so much for food when I am not on the ball with meals because then we end up going out to eat. I can remember when I was young how excited I was to find out what meal we were having for dinner. There is just something about the smell of food that can do you good. I hope that I can do the same for my children.
LAUNDRY: She mentions that if you only get a couple of things done every day, one of them needs to be laundry. I have seen that if I don't do it for even one day how much I regret it in the following days to come. So my new goal is to at least do one load a day - fold it - and put it away. Daryl mentions how important it is to time a job and realize how quick it really is to do something that you might be putting off for many days. It takes me about 4 minutes to fold a batch of clothes and 4 minutes to put it away. I can definitely find that much time in the day. I also have realized how much easier it is to fold clothes when they are hot, rather than wrinkled and cold.
BROKEN WINDOW THEORY: In NYC there is a theory about a sign of social or physical neglect in a neighborhood invites further neglect or breakdown because it indicates that no one cares. So with our homes - if we have a clean counter and one thing is put on it, soon many things will adorn the counter also - THUS - clutter attracts more clutter. I have realized that this is so true. I have those spots in my house that clutter is always accumulating at. I cleaned off those spots and have realized how clean it can stay if nothing is on it. One day I was being lazy and stuck a pile of school papers there. Soon there were not only papers, but also pencils, books, etc. I realize how easy it is to keep areas clean when I don't allow anything to take up that space.
It is amazing how one new thought or concept can make such a drastic difference. I am grateful for people like Daryl Hoole who write their experiences down to help struggling mothers like myself. So if any of you are wondering about this amazing book, it is called "The Ultimate Career." Now I am off to clean my house and do some laundry.
7 comments:
The Broken Window Theory is so true. Being an apartment manager you learn that. If there is graffiti on a wall, it needs to be taken care of immediately or there will suddenly be more graffiti. The same is with garbage, if things look clean, but then one thing gets thrown on the floor, everyone feels they can throw their stuff on the floor. Thanks for your thoughts. You are an amazing mom!
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts today! I too struggle with many of these things, which seem to be made harder having to work full time. I have found that planning meals for 3 weeks at a time has helped us stay on budget and makes it easier for me to get meals prepared. I also have a child who hates most everything I make, which makes me feel bad, and makes Randy dissapointed in Riley. We have told Riley that if he doesn't want to eat what the rest of us are eating he still has to sit at the table and watch us eat. Dinner is family time. And so, he sits there until we are all done eating, and he goes to bed hungry (which makes me feel like a bad mom but those are the consequences he has to live with). I really need to focus on your Laundry suggestions, we were doing good at this for a while...when Randy was in charge of Laundry! :) Thanks again for your thoughts, I always look forward to reading advise from you!
Thanks for sharing this, Tricia. I really loved this post. I've been trying to do a load a day, too, and it really works for us!
I'm off to add "The Ultimate Career" to my list of books to read. . . .
I too love the thoughts you've shared that we all struggle with as mothers. Are jobs are 24/7 and never stop and can be quite daunting at times. Thanks for your insights and I definitley want to read the book and have any help I can with my many tasks in life and making them easier and better for everyone. I also like a quote I've seen that says, "Cleaning your house when you're kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk when it's still snowing!" I like my house clean too, but I've had to "lower my standards" in that area a bit so I don't drive myself crazy in the process. I can't have everything clean and in order all the time and realizing that and letting that go has been a big help to my stress level. Remember we all have these same struggles and know that you are not alone! Also, I'm a big advocate of having the kids take responsibilty for some of the picking up and chores around the house to help out and teach them work skills they need to learn in life.
I need this book, too. I've got clutter and piles of laundry. It was real embarrassing last night when the missionaries came to the door and I had 3 giant baskets of laundry to be folded right in the living room.
I feel so much more peace in my home when everything is in it's place.
Thanks for sharing!! I will check out the book.
Hey Tricia! So nice to hear from you. I am so so so glad that your whole family (almost) blogs. I wish mine would get with it! =) It is so great to see how you are and the pictures of your kids and family. Like I told your mom (I think it was her), your family is the best Corcoran memory I have! You all are truly amazing people, and I can tell that you are passing on that same amazing-ness to your own families.
I relate to your post so much! My big struggle is meals. My husband actually cooks dinner every night (his favorite chore), but when he goes to Iraq I will have to be super disciplined to take over and not drop the ball. I guess my kids can't eat chicken nuggets and corn dogs for a year. =) I so hate cooking, but like you said, it is so important. I may have to find that book and read it myself. Thanks for sharing that info!
Tricia, it is funny to me that you are enjoying and appreciating this woman's suggestions as much as I did in about 1978.
Allyson had a teacher at BYU that would read from her books and make fun of how out of date and silly they were.
Times change but they are the same things just written in a more modern form.
I really do believe that it isn't only nutition that is happening at the dinner table but there is a sense of comfort and stability for the family. I loved the quote she used and I really do feel it is imoportant. Hard to do but well worth the effort.
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